What it takes to be married for 38 Years
Romantic walks along the beach, holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes, candlelit dinners with clinking wine glasses, surprising with flowers on random days, being protective, defending his girl in front of family and friends, rushing through when he hears that his girl has been an accident or unwell, check on the girl, forget the car or the insurance …… Oh! I love K Dramas … 😊
I remember our early years of marriage; everything was seen through rose coloured glasses. All his tales sounded so fascinating. He was just so suave and talented. Whatever, he was not good at, was endearing “oh he is so bad at cooking Hee! Hee! Hee”
As time goes by you are aware of the tinted glasses. Not everything is endearing. Some of them are darn right irritating. But as time goes by, you also learn to take the good with the bad, your relationship has also now progressed enough to call out the BS.
In the last 38 years we have stood by each other – in good times and hard times, we learnt to share the troubles. We have both got older, our bodies are now showing signs of wear and tear.
Still, there is romance. I do assist him to take off of his clothing – his Socks – the poor man can’t bend down after a long session on the ships. The romance is not in undoing the undergarment but more to assist with hooking it on, cold days plays havoc with my broken shoulder.
Even after 38 years we are still learning and testing each other’s boundaries. I am ok to be the designated driver. But he knows that I won’t tolerate a blotto. I don’t involve him in my Shoe Research. Sometimes I feel that I could extend my knowledge to his collection. But I am learning about losing battles vs wining the war. But he definitely tests me when he splutters all over the bathroom mirror and then tries to hide it by wiping it down with the sponge.
YES! THE WATER MARK IS LOUD AND CLEAR.
I think that is the biggest lesson we need to learn to withstand a long marriage. There’s going to be smudges and splutters. Don’t just wipe over it. Address it just as you would, when cleaning the mirror. Do whatever it takes, clean it until the marks are gone.
In simple terms for husbands – Apologise, Apologise, Apologise. AND DON’T DO IT AGAIN!!!
But on a serious note, my partner in crime is a solid guy. Who has been part of my life travels– studies, career, making beautiful kids in sickness and in health
You learn that rivers and mountains are of the same landscape. So is sun rises and sun sets. You learn to respect all the elements of this landscape. Bridges can become your selling point or your weakness. Build it strong and keep it stronger, it will serve you well.
Anyway, I think I am giving you another chance MR Ganesan, but know that you are on notice.
Happy Anniversary my husband of 38 yrs.
Uma's life and thoughts 