Posted in True Story, Inspirational

Moving to Adelaide (Part 2)

SA-map

Sorry for the slightly long silence.  Let’s blame it on my health.  I am someone who believes that it is my duty to keep the medical industry well funded.  Nothing major this time, just minor repairs.  But happy to report that I am on the mend.

My fingers have been itching to tap that key board for sometime.  Finally free from heavy pain meds and confident I wouldn’t sound like a druggie and thought of continuing where I left off.


There are many theories on Money.  ‘Money is not everything’, ‘Money cannot buy happiness’ ‘wise man should have money in his head and not in his heart.  the list goes on.

I ride on the middle most times on most issues.  I am not ready to give up everything and live in Nimbin.  It sounds great in theory.  Smoking pot and singing Bob Marley, yep sounds like heaven. But it ain’t me.

Moving to Adelaide – South Australia seemed like a happy medium.  Hubby and I started to do our research on Adelaide.  Our main concern were the kids.  Will there be good doctors to take care of their medical needs? It has taken us move heaven and earth to bring them to this condition, will they slip back? Hari is rather a reserved kid will he find it hard to make friends? Will this affect them socially? Will their education be hindered by moving to a small city,  a city that the rest of Australia laughs at.

My heart still kept prompting me to take the plunge.  But there was so much at stake.  Our decision to leave our mother nation and migrate to Australia seemed an easier decision than this.  At that time we had no kids.  This time around it was not just about us.

The kids were not happy at all.  The main reason was the “The Roaches”. Even for us the main reason that was keeping us back was some of our friends and family.  There are many, I am not going to list them all, but they know who they are.  The Roaches get a special mention because of the type of relationship we had.

We met them when we first moved to Castle Hill and Hari was just an year old.  I was working full time and mum was taking care of Hari.  She would take him to the local church once a week for a mothers play group.  On my day off’s I would join in too.  Met some really nice mothers and kids.  This is where we met Sylvia.  Her eldest Michael was a few weeks older than Hari and the two got along really well.  The youngest Anthony was an infant.  It just happened that they happened to live behind our house on the street parallel to us.  Sylvia was very helpful to mum.  She would make it a point to bring an additional baby seat to transport Hari and would give them a lift home or when they went on picnics etc.  In return Sylvia enjoyed mum’s Sri Lankan goodies.

Gradually our friendship grew.  The older boys were very close.  They had now moved onto the same Pre-School (Montessori).  Sylvia was now back at work.  She was a theater nurse.  She initially enrolled Michael at a pre-school near her work.  It was hard getting him to settle so she decided to join him in to the same pre-school as Hari.  The two boys were rather inseparable.

I was now pregnant with my youngest. After all the hiccups and scares finally the day came to pop the bundle.  Sylvia was already at work.  Not sure who rang who, but Glen (her hubby) found out from mum that I had left for the hospital.  The same hospital Sylvia was working.  A few hours after I had Arj, (about 3am) Sylvia rushes in with her gown and gloves, elated to see the new born.  She sheds tears of joy while hugging me.  At this time only my husband had seen the bub.  Mum nor Hari had seen him.  Hindu’s don’t have a ‘god mother’ system, if not I would’ve asked her to be the god mother.

 I think the happiest was Anthony, he had a play mate now.  In a world where class, colour and creed matter we remained friends in spite of all the glaring differences.  Sylvia hailed from Germany, Glen was from New Zealand and we were from Sri Lanka. Our boys learnt that was more than the normal ‘Coles’ brand sausages and those two kids learnt to eat rice.  My mum gained another two grand kids.  My boys now had an ‘Oma’ (Grandma in German) and ‘Uncle James

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Both families had their trials and tribulations and both helped each other out.  We took turns to take care of our injured or at times sick soldiers. Michael and Hari had their tonsils out.  I think all four boys had grommets put in.  Sylvia was paramount in saving Arj on his 2nd birthday.  The four boys took turns to fracture a limb or get stitches. Anthony poured hot honey on himself. Sylvia sometimes joined in with getting injured too.  It was normal for the boys to have a shower and sleep at each others house.

Once all four started to go to school things became more of a routine.  We couldn’t see the point in two cars heading towards the same destination.  So all four kids drove to and from the school together in one car.  It was usually myself or Glen as we had more regular and flexible working hours.  The boys didn’t even notice whose car they were getting into.  Each morning they were too excited to see each other they would just start to yap as soon as they are together.

After school most days they would go for sports together.  So in the morning we would exchange their relevant sports bags and snacks for after school. It was usually banana’s and ‘Up and Go’.  They did swimming and Karate together.  Most times Glen would pick them up after swimming.  As after the swim the boys will go into the men’s side to have a shower and change.  The boys don’t get the rush of the parents. It’s not for them worry that the parent has to go home and start dinner etc.  They just loved more play time.  So we decided it was better for Glen to pick them up as he can go into the men’s and hurry the boys.

Even on the weekends it was rather normal for us to meet up again.  Just like the car which car they got into, they didn’t care whose pool they jumped into.  I still remember watching the 2003 Rugby finals England Vs Australia where Jonnyy Wilkinson snatched the victory from us at the last minute.  We were watching the game together with food and drinks and as time went along it became just drinks. Well we had to swallow the grief.  It was a great night.  Don’t remember much of the finale.  Well our boys slept over there while hubby and I crawled back home after my hubby’s failed attempts at cartwheels.

Many a days, when all four of us were unable to pick the boys, uncle James, Oma or Angela (Sylvia’s sister) took the role.  It takes a village to raise a child was very much the case for these four boys.  They were the happiest four boys.

And now we were going to separate them.

To be continued … hopefully tomorrow.

 

Posted in True Story, Inspirational

Moving to Adelaide (Part 1)

Reality-TVReality TV has taken over. The remote control has been taken over  by the other half.  He wants to watch the news on ABC, but the goldfish DNA in him keeps pressing the remote control.  So we end up seeing reality TV salad.

I saw a real estate agent (possibly) he was on the phone, looked like he was negotiating the house price, then it moved on to some sexy looking people, then I think someone was cooking and back to the news, some country was getting blown off. The same cycle happens every 2 minutes.

I thought it was time to retreat behind my keyboard.  I want to write.  Reason 1 – it is part of my monthly challenge to write for a minimum of half hour everyday.  Reason 2 – I do enjoy it once I start. It’s like going to the gym or for a walk/run.  Getting started is a chore but once you get going you start to enjoy it.

I haven’t adhered to my challenge everyday but have come pretty close to it so far.  I did attempt yesterday.  However, didn’t eventuate as I was too tired to come up with a topic and WordPress was no help as there are no prompts since the beginning of the month.


career change

I have been asked this question many a times in Adelaide as well as in Sydney, “Why did you’ll move to Adelaide?”

My one line answers have been, “hubby’s work, a genuine sea change” “Yes I miss my friends and the shopping but I don’t miss the traffic”

However today and maybe days to come (depends how long I am going to ponder on this subject) I would like to delve a bit deeper on the reasons, the pros and cons and whatever else that was involved.

Maybe it would help someone when deciding a sea change or work change or some kind of life style change.


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The Ganesan’s lived in Sydney since 1990 and their family grew one by one from 1993.  By 1996, we had 5 family members residing in our little house.  This was my hubby, my two boys and my mum.  A young family with a mortgage meant that both of us had to work full time.  With mum’s help and child care, we survived our hectic lives.

Our house was in North west of Sydney and my hubby’s work was in the South. Which meant he had a pretty long commute to work.  More than the distance the traffic was what made the journey more tedious. I worked in the city until the latter years.  It was a hike for the city as well.  It didn’t matter even if you lived close by, the Sydney traffic will still make you commute for hours even if you were travelling within the suburb.

Hubby was unhappy with the industry he was working in. His wages weren’t bad. That was the only plus side.  My youngest fell ill (we nearly lost him at the age of 2) and it was tough times mentally, physically and financially too.  About the same time my eldest lost his hearing and we were shunting between hospitals with two kids and their respective surgeries.

Eventually I had to give up my career and start working closer to home with less hours and less stress.  I took over the primary roll for the hospital runs and hospital stays while hubby kept slogging away at his job, even though he hated each minute of it. I could see that stress was gradually killing him.  Neither of us had a choice.  We both had to keep going.

Those dreary days would have been near impossible if not for some family and friends.  I will revisit this subject later.

Hubby’s company had a subcontractor in Adelaide.  The owners of this company approached hubby a few times to join them.  The wages were no where near what he was earning in Sydney.  Money is not everything, but when your kid is unwell and you have choice to pay for his surgery rather than wait six months to get it done from the public hospital, would you say money is not everything?

It was year 2004 and Arj my youngest was nearly 8 years old.  He was over the worst and our visits to the respiratory specialist had diminished to just once a year.  Same with Hari, he still had a hearing impairment, but things were in place for us to manage it.

The Adelaide company made the offer again with a possibility of a partnership in the future.  Initial wages were still low. At this point I got interested.  I thought we were alright now, we could manage with the low wages.  The mortgage was in a manageable position as well.

It was not just about money.   I was almost a neurotic mum with the way the two boys fell ill.  The two specialists who looked after the boys were the best in the country.  They were just amazing and they knew the two cases so well.  The boys had to see the doctors regularly and this made me less neurotic knowing that things are under control.  So to leave the doctors and go else where was the biggest hurdle.

So, in November 2004 when the offer came again, I re-evaluated our situation.  We were really alright I thought.  The only one who was not alright was my hubby.  I was really worried about his health.  I am still, but that’s another story for another day.  And that point I was able to confidently say “Money is not everything”.


My eyes are weary, so I will continue tomorrow.  I will leave you with one thought though.  Money is not everything.  But it is definitely something.

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