This blow has come out of left field. Not a complete KO, but it has definitely shaken up the ground below. I find myself in an unusual territory. Logic is refusing to stay put in my head. I keep pleading it to stay put, but unknown to me it keeps escaping leaving a stuffed dummy in its place.
Well, I know I am genetic mess. But, the realization that I could have passed on this mess to my kids seems very hard to swallow. No one is blaming me, especially my kids. But I wish they would just scream at me. Show me that they are angry for what I am going to put them through. But they joke and carry on like nothing.
It is probably going to be nothing. And I am worrying over nothing. Why am I being such a pessimistic heap of mess? I know the logic, let’s do the test and then worry if we have something to worry about. That would be the advice I would be giving someone else in that situation. I am no stranger to waiting for test results. It has never worried me, but this time I am a mess. I have to be strong for the boys. I will be. Just give me today to rant and rave.
I was supposed to be a miracle for my parents. When I survived the horrible cancer, once again it was considered a miracle. Yes, I could either be called “special”, “unique” or another apt word “weird”. I am a genetic error. This is not me blurting out in anger. That is the scientific word used in my report, I have a genetic error.
All I ask for is to leave my kids alone. I will go through anything, I am happy to say “Que sera sera” and deal with absolutely anything, I will endure anything, just leave my kids out of it.
To the man up there, just in case he doesn’t get it. A mother goes through nine months of pregnancy and then hours of horrid labour, she endures it all, so that her child will be born unharmed. From day one her model was built to protect that child. She was programmed to fight for her child no matter the size or might of the opponent. She has no turn off button.
So a word to the man up there, you are lower than a tadpole when you do this to a mother. Ask any mother, they will happily take the plague or worse, if that would save her child.
Final words to the man up there, “leave my kids alone” – PLEASE.
Uma's life and thoughts 
You anger and frustration is understandable. All of humanity since the beginning has faced the same prospects of inheriting and passing on the genetic material. Part of being a human being. My cancer has returned and going to have to take it to the next level of treatment soon. My daughter will inherit propensity for ovarian and colon cancer. My son – prostate cancer. Both face addiction issues. That’s the curse of the family line. Acceptance is difficult.
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I am so sorry to hear that. Acceptance is difficult. You hit the nail on its ugly but truthful head.
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This speaks to the other side of that recent controversy over human gene-editing by a Chinese scientist. What everyone seemed to forget in that story is the parents who were simply doing whatever it took to protect their children from an otherwise potentially lethal disease. I’m not even a parent myself, but I can certainly understand the drive to protect one’s own children… damn the pundits. Some things simply cannot be accepted!
I sincerely wish both you and your children health and happiness.
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Thank you so much. Yes, parents would do anything to protect their young. Feeling a lot more positive today. I have convinced myself that they are going to be okay. I will know the outcome in a month. Until then I have to keep this positive vibe
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oh goodness! You are allowed to rant and rave, in this mess!! PLEASE update asap-and until then . . .I will be talking to the “Man upstairs” on your behalf. I so hope the best wishes ever for you, my dear Uma!
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Thank you Michele. Feeling a bit bad about my rant now. But I guess the man upstairs would/could understand. Both boys will get tested in a month. I just have to convince myself and the universe that they are going to be okay
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God has put with my rants and fits-He is bigger than we know and more loving too. I feel your heart-My granddaughters will be tested as their paternal grandmother and all of her sisters, carried that dreadful gene-Will (their dad) is getting tested too. Let us pray for one another. Please update and know care deeply. love Michele
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Everything will be okey!! Pray for you and your family!!
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Thank you. Hubby took me for a weekend away. I will write soon. I feel much calmer and at peace now.
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Send you a big HUG !!!!
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😚
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